(Originally published on January 27, 2016 by Diana West.)
Unveiling a work in progress,
The Big Conservative Dictionary of Donald Trump.
The fun part about The Big Conservative Dictionary of Donald Trump is that it is brought to you by those erudite conservatives who, some even between birthing the stink bombs below, endlessly deplore crudeness and “tone” in simply scads of elevating sermons and television lecture-bytes. (See “Rudeness Is not a Conservative Value,” “Against Trump,” etc.).
Here we go — so far.
A is for “Anal”
A is for Ape
“Witless Ape Rides Escalator”
— This is the headline for National Review’s very first report by Kevin Williamson on Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential run — almost brings a tear to the eye. (See also “P is for Plastic-Surgery-Nightmare Wife,” etc.)
“Turning to Donald Trump to solve the problems in Washington is like turning to an ape to fix a broken refrigerator.”
— Stephen Hayes, Fox News & Weekly Standard, August 8, 2015
A is for Appalling
“If by now you don’t find Donald Trump appalling, you’re appalling.”
Bret Stephens, Wall Street Journal, Aug. 31, 2015
B is for Balls
“Let’s be honest. Carly cut his balls off.”
National Review editor Rich Lowry, on Fox News (see minute 1:18 below), September 23, 2015
B is for Bullet
The donor class “are still going to have to go out and put a bullet in Donald Trump. And that’s a fact.”
— Republican consultant Rick Wilson on MSNBC
C is for Clown Site
“The clown site of the Internet beclowns itself yet again.”
Commentary editor John Podhoretz tweeting @ Breitbart News report on Trump rapping critic George Will for failing to disclose his Will’s wife worked for then-presidential candidate Scott Walker. (See also “V is for `Vomit.'”)
D is for Diarrhea
“Fact-checking Donald Trump is like picking up after a dog with diarrhea.”
—Stephen Hayes, Weekly Standard, on Fox News
G is for Grabs
“Man. This piece. @KevinNR grabs Trump supporters by the … well, you know.
— Commentary online editor Noah Rothman (see “M is for Masturbation”).
H is for Hardcore Porn
“Trump’s Immigration Plan Is Hardcore Porn For Nativists,” August 19, 2015
— headline over article by David Harsanyi at The Federalist. It opens:
Donald Trump is porn for nativists. Now, a person can derive much political self-gratification from wishful thinking, but remember porn isn’t real. So enjoy daydreaming about mass deportations and visualizing the repeal of birthright citizenship, but don’t let yourself get desensitized to reality….
H is for Hitler
With Donald Trump, “you have the makings of Adolph Hitler.”
— Glenn Beck on his radio show, reported January 22, 2016
M is for Masturbate/Masturbation
Trump supporters are “engaged in the political version of masturbation: sterile, fruitless self-indulgence.”
— Kevin Williamson, National Review (see also “A is for `Ape,'” etc.)
“Most of them [Trump supporters] are childless single men who masturbate to anime.”
— GOP consultant Rick Wilson (see also “A is not Anal,” etc.) on MSNBC, reported January 20, 2016
M is for Mouth-Breathing Anti-Semites
P is for Piss
Trump is like a cat trained to piss in a human toilet. It’s amazing! It’s remarkable! Yes, yes, it is: for a cat. But we don’t judge humans by the same standard.
— Jonah Goldberg, National Review (see also “Mouth-Breathing Anti-Semites”)
P is for Plastic-Surgery-Disaster Wife
Trump is “a reality-television grotesque with his plastic-surgery-disaster wife.”
— National Review’s Kevin Williamson (See also “A is for Ape,” etc.). Bonus: Williamson deplores Trump for “ungallant behavior” here.
S is for Softcore
“Trump’s fans—not all, but enough—aren’t turned on by softcore white papers authored by Jeff Sessions, they want the hard stuff.”
— David Harsanyi, The Federalist (see also “H is Hardcore Porn”)
S is for Stench
Trump’s policies are “a parade of semi-sophisticated policies that act as bathroom deodorizer to mask the stench of this candidacy.”
— Bret Stephens, Wall Street Journal (see also “A is for Appalling,” etc.)
U is for Ungallant
See “P is for Plastic-Surgery-Disaster Wife.”
V is for Vomit
“By the way, I knew Andrew Breitbart. Andrew Breitbart was a friend of mine. He would vomit over what you’ve done to his name.”
— Commentary editor John Podhoretz, tweeting @ Breibart report on Trump rapping Trump critic Will not disclosing wife’s ties to Walker campaign (see also “C is for Clown Site”).
That’s all for now — see you next time!
(Re-published with Diana’s permission – JW)